Quiet is good...

So here I am, munching on my cabbage stew(which the lovely and talented Miss Isis helped prepare), not even a full week into my fast and I have noticed that I am in a very quiet state of mind.

Everyone keeps asking if something is wrong...quite the contrary, something is right......

Sigh....it's difficult to explain.

While I will be the first to admit I am moody as all get out (hey according to my astrological sign, that's cool).
I am not in a bad mood.  I am just in a "I don't want to be bothered"...but not in a bad way; does that make sense?

For instance, this morning when I got to work I sat straight down and started working, I didn't even have my typical morning BS time with co-workers.  Maybe I am quieting my world in order to hear from HIM.

...whoa, that is deep :)

At any rate, yoga last night was a beast, but a very enjoyable workout during this time of fasting.  Tonight I am going to go to spin class, we will see how this works.  I am a bit nervous because my calorie intake has my energy level a bit low.

Outside of that it is all systems go as I fast for Greater Expectations in 2012.(shout out to Pastor Bryan Carter and Concord Church Dallas)

In previous years, when I fasted, I had a very specific list of what I was fasting for, but I can say that this time around I am just fasting for guidance along my journey as I continue fitting the pieces together......

Be Well
xoxo

The journey doesn't end...

I just looked at the last blog entry that I made only to find that the last time was February 2011...A little more than a year ago and the only thing that I can say is that so much has happened,

SO MUCH!!!

On the surface things may look the same. I mean Isis and I are still doing our "thang". But so much has taken place, on the inside...

2011 started out as a very tough year, emotionally; but one thing that I have found is that things must be broken in order to be put back together; you know what I mean???

On the inside of 2011, I had to let some things go, some people go, some habits go, some people go, some ways go...did I say some people go?

The tail end of 2011 was smooth sailing, I had a lot of clarity, and learned a lot of lessons.

The few things that I let go pale in comparison to all that I have gained....

And almost a year later I am back here, fasting for 28days looking for more growth and development. I am excited to learn the lessons that God has for me in 2012.

One thing is for certain; no matter what year it is, or how long I have been away from my blog, the journey to fit the pieces together never stops :)

Be Well

Sometimes you just have to stop and cry and say thank you!

So here is the story....

Yesterday, I had to go to a class to better myself, and further my professional development.

I got lost; as I normally do....really that is part of my charm, I can't find my way out of my own back yard half of the time; but I digress....

I was driving through a "less desirable" part of town,

then it hit me...

As I was driving my NEW SWEET RIDE, it hit me

GIRL, GOD HAS REALLY KEPT YOU AND SUSTAINED YOU by any and all means....

My Heavenly Father has really, really blessed me and shown me favor!!!

Here I am, a single mother of an incredible child that knows, loves and fears the Lord already at the tender age of 9.

I am driving a new car that I got.... on my own.

I am heading to a training to better myself in job that I have...I am gainfully employeed...

I pay my own bills(albeit sometimes late, but hey.....)

I live in a nice, safe, neighborhood, complete with friendly neighbors and children playing; and I live there, not on the governments dime, but on my own merit

Now, do not get me wrong, I have my many meltdowns, wondering if the "struggle" is ever going to get a bit easier for a sistah :)

BUT

as I was driving in my new car, lost, in a "seedy" part of town, I was overcome with emotion...

I was humbled.

I was so very grateful.

I had to stop

 and cry

and say THANK YOU

Because although my journey to "fit the peices together" can be trying at times, in the grand scheme of things, it's really not bad at all.

Be well (I am)
xoxo

Be careful what you fast for, you just might get it....

Sooooo......

It has been a good 2 weeks at least since my last posting and boy oh boy!!!

So much has taken place that when I sit back and really think about it, I can only attribute it to the specific things that I fasted and prayed for at the beginning of the year.

The main thing that I truly desired was clarity...in everything, on all levels...

I mean, let's think about this for a minute; I am on a journey to "fit the pieces together"...

How can I do that if I am not really clear on what is going on???

How can I restore myself, and rebuild what has been torn down, if I do not know the real deal???

Regardless of what it is.

Well, I will say this without revealing too much.  It was clarity that I prayed for and it was truly clarity that I received. 

So many times we "say" we want the truth, but I will tell you this, the truth really does hurt.
Especially if you have been holding on to what you thought was the truth, for over a decade....I was knocked off of my feet for about 4 days, but when I came out on the other side....Let's just say, that is when things started moving in fast forward;  and here is the lesson that I learned:

When you ask God to move in your life, and HE thinks you are ready (not you); and He begins to move, the only thing you need to do is sit back and enjoy the ride.

....and so it is with me.  I have realized that He is leading me on this journey to "Fit the Pieces Together"

xoxo
Be Well

Day 12 Feeling Good Feeling Great!

12 days in and I have this amazing feeling of well being. 

I love love love fasting! 

It is so awesome when you have a clarity and a feeling that everything really is going to be okay.  When the fast first began I did have a "mini-meltdown".  But hey, I was having "Baby-Daddy" issues...that is par for the course. 

And with me being struck down for 5 friggin days with the crud that is floating around...Well I guess it is safe to say my 2011 Fasting period started off a little shaky (to say the least).  But through it all I have remained obedient and I have pushed past the feelings that I just gotta have a piece of fried chicken or I will die.  I mean seriously, the devil even almost had me convinced one day that I needed a hot dog!  a hot dog?????


At any rate, I am so proud to say that this week has been an epic success!!!

I have been spending my quiet morning time with God and I am doing my morning reading, I then get up out of the bed, get dressed and head to the gym (5am folks) where my love/hate relationship with the elliptical continues... And the best part of the whole thing is that I have awakened the "Glamour Girl" in me that has been hibernating for the past 2 years! 


I have been showing up to work every morning in a full face of make up and I have even brought my "sexy back" into my wardrobe.


I have experimented with a lot of different products and a lot of different looks over the past 2 years but I am taking it all "Back to Basics"...That's right, I am going back to the things that worked best for me and had me feeling really good about myself.


Anywho, I have rambled on enough today, time for me to continue on my journey to "fit the pieces together"...


Be Well
xoxo

Made it through the fast...now what???

Well well well, I fasted for 28 days asking God for clarity, waiting to see what this period of fasting will bring and I can say these things:


I have a feeling of well being that surpasses any that I have had in a long time.
I have mellowed out and I feel a lot more focused on my focus. 
I feel present, I tend to really get into my own head and play things out the way that I wished they were as opposed to how they really are. I think this was a coping mechanism. Well, by facing things as they are (good, bad, or indifferent) I am able to come to a resolution, acknowledge and move on...


Having said that...


Remember last year, after my 40 day fast when I was laid off from my job? After all of the fasting and praying I did for those 40 days; I will admit, the wind was knocked out of my sail and I really did have a slight mini-meltdown. After which I remembered Hebrews13:5-6.  With that I was able to pull myself together and keep it movin....


Well, I am now convinced that after fasting God will hand you an unexpected blow as a test to see if you really are tuned in.  I feel like I am not only "tuned in" but I am in HD!

Well to that end...
I got socked in the stomach with my unexpected "after fast blow'"and I must admit, after a mini-meltdown, and a call to my very best friend on this earth (Shout out to BVV!!!) and a huge shoulder to cry on (Love you Dad!!!) I remembered Psalms 147:3, and while I was in my final savasana in yoga class i meditated on that scripture... With that I am able to pull myself together and....say it with me...

keep it movin :)

All in all my fasting time was awesome and I am really excited to see what is waiting ahead for me in 2011.  So far so good.... I can do this....I will not give up......I can and I will continue on my journey to "fit the pieces together"...


Oh and one more thing.....from now on you may refer to me as "Auntie Danielle"( I love you my beautiful niece!!!!)

Be Well
XOXO

17 Days in....

I am feeling so good it is insane! 

 It is so funny when you come across individuals that just really don't get it....

During my time of fasting I will be the first to admit that I have made a few slip ups...(The chocolate cookies and potato chips that I enjoyed with my sister, brother in law and daughter, just the other evening while enjoying a movie...for instance).

But no fish nor foul has touched these lips(since the  chicken wing incident the first week of fasting). 

But I guess what really bugs me are those people that literally WANT to see me weaken during this time. Especially after I have gotten past the hump and the by products of the fast REALLY start to kick in;  For no other reason than to be able to say "see I knew she was full of crap" ( I would curse but I am working on that too, during this time).


I tend to get a bit irritated at people that say to me, "When we go out to eat I am going to get a big ole' slab of ribs, while you eat your salad"  In my head, I respond by saying "good for you boss!  and that is why I look  like this and feel like this... and you look"...well...you fill in the blank.

Perhaps if those same individuals took a moment to read Daniel 1:12-15 they may not be so quick to try to knock a sistah down, and be more inclined to join and encourage her(#im just sayin tweet)...


Here's the deal for any and all that may not understand.....Fasting ,for me, is so much more than denying myself  a daggone slab of ribs, it is about getting closer to God, period. 

I do that by waking at a crazy early time every morning to spend time in the Word and pray, before I head out to for my morning workout.  If, during this time, I look 'healthier and better nourished' that is what I call an added bonus! 

In addition to that, I truly cannot imagine beginning a New Year any other way....To sum it all up..if you cannot encourage me while I am fasting...well then please please please gimme 50 feet while I am on this journey to "fit the pieces together".


Be well
xoxo