#HealthyRelationships

Yeah...yeah...yeah...I know, its been a long time but I am still here, still learning, still growing, still trying

I think that is the most important part...still trying...

At any rate, I had such a splendid weekend that I felt moved to write (inspired if you will...)

Something is really happening, God is really moving(as always)...

This past weekend I can honestly say, I maintained nothing but good vibrations all around me, from beginning to end. 

Every interaction left me feeling...healthy :)

I was so commited to the maintaining the positivity, that I refused to give any airtime to anything that may have remotely seemed like the contrary, and you know what I realized?

I dont have to make apologies for my happiness. 

This shit is hard

So I know it has literally been years; but your girl is still here...holding on...barely.

 And with it being the month of January, I am participating in a fasting season with my church...at least I am consistent when it comes to that...sigh...

You know, the more I stop and check in with myself the more I realize that being a grown ass adult is some hard shit.

That's all I feel like saying right now...so..blah blah fitting pieces and all that shit.

I think I am going to push the reset button.

7 days into 2016 and I am struggling with my fasting and my exercising.  No one and I mean NO ONE prepared me for being the mother to a teenager.

Not placing any blame at all, but I can honestly say that since my daughter has started high school, I have gained 20 lbs:(  So my challenge going forward will be getting back to my fit self.

I look back fondly on my two a day workouts and my prepared breakfast lunches and dinners that I would have, I remember thinking how I had it all together..that is a laugh because at this very moment I am a complete and total disorganized wreck of a woman!

So I have decided that my New Year will begin next week..my goals are to have a clean house, a refrigerator full of food and a clean office, car..you get the picture.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!..

Listen, how can I fit the pieces together if they are all over the place???

Be well...even in your chaos.

The Same but different...

As the new year approached I promised myself I would not  purchase a new journal and begin entries that I will not be able to complete for whatever reason.

So here I am on my blog...again...do the same thing I do every year around this time,  but seeing things a little differently....

Having said that  I do intend for 2016 to be a year of me going back to the things that made me feel comfortable with who I am and the way that I am...the past few years have been full of "interesting" twists and turns and trying to navigate those years while remaining authentically me proved to be somewhat difficult..yet..here I am:)

The truth is that I am not any less of who I " used to be"..the truth is that  Life is all up in my way, and it is a daily challenge attempting to stay ahead of it all....

I am the same person I have always been...the same but different..and that's ok!

By Gods Grace I am still here...still in the ring...still with a lot of fight in me..still on my journey to Fit the Pieces Together...stay tuned...and be well.

This all of this....

This should be interesting...



It has been a LOOOOOONNNNGGGG time since I sat down and took the time to write...granted, I have had many things to write about since my last visit to the Blog-o-sphere, but for some reason this topic has been really, really, really tugging at my brain( and heart);

when that happens, the only way to get it out is to, well, get it out, so here goes....

I grew up with a mom that was not that great...at all...

Now, I know how most blogs nowadays will begin by saying something to grab your attention, and then they end up being some sort of ironic/feel-good  blog that actually played on the wording of the title.

Sorry folks, this is not that type of party.

My mom...hmmm, how do I explain it....as I look back, trying desperately to find somethings that she constantly did as I was growing up that would make me smile...those things really are non existent.  I honestly cannot think of the times she and I just laughed uncontrollably, just because, or the times she and I would just hang out, just because...or the time she would spend talking with me and listening to me ramble on incessantly about some nonsensical pre-teen thing...just because....

Here are my memories of growing up with my mom:
My mom was very serious about her work and her education
My mom thought (and told me frequently) I was an ungrateful brat
My mom read a lot of books
My mom liked to shop(for herself)
My mom had really cool friends

The long and the short of it is that my mom was very driven and she worked hard; we had a beautiful home (with a pool).  We did travel a lot(military). And there was always a member of the family or a friend that was there to help her with the ungrateful brat(that would be me).

I realized the nurturing that I needed from her was not there, the "I love you's" were not given out frequently. She was there, to provide and she took that role very seriously, but that's about it.

.....so I guess the question is; why now am I spilling this,
am I hurt?
Yes.
Am I bitter?
Hell yes!

...but that's what therapy is for lol!

I am bearing my soul about this particular piece of me, because it all hit me like a ton of bricks recently....right after my daughter and I were being super silly, and laughing so hard in the kitchen, I think I peed my pants a little(sorry tmi???).

.....there is a huge difference between how I was raised and how I am raising my daughter...

I too am a single mother, I too have dreams and aspirations, I too am driven and would love to have all kind of plaques on the wall; but for some odd reason I would rather be there every day to pick my kiddo up from school, I would rather take my child to see her favorite boy band perform every time they come to town; and while I have great friends and family, I would rather be the face she sees when she wakes up and has to go off to school.

I guess in the grand scheme of things, I am an ugrateful brat; because my mom's drive did give me a nice looking childhood....but at what cost?

I don't have a billion letters behind my name
I am not that accomplished
I am very ordinary

BUT

I laugh with my daughter and not only tell her I love her, I tell her I LIKE her every chance I get.

Don't get me wrong, my child ANNOYS me to no end at times...ugh...but I try my best to remember that she is a child and she is going to do things that children do, it is up to me to not take the easy way out;
not to yell character assassinations at her, not to beat my chest in prehistoric fashion(speaking figuratively) and say "Because I am your mother", or treat her as if all she is there for is to do my bidding and carry out my orders as I sit on high...

 It is up to me to speak to her, listen, and above all, respect her.

So I guess I should send a shout out to my not so great mom, because she has really made me the mom I am today; and though this parenthood journey is always an uphill battle....I stay on my quest to fit the pieces together.

Be Well, I am...now:)

I have to admit I was a little scared at first, but the Black Eyed Pea Patties were great. Thanks Danielle for spening Championship Sunday with us. Claude

It has been several days since my last post....7 days to be exact...I had a marvelous long weekend (Happy Birthday Martin Luther *the* King)  I had neighborhood kiddos filling my house with laughter and chaos the entire weekend.....and I couldn't have been happier:)

I was also able to whip up some really good eats in the kitchen, and I bought my first package of tofu!  I haven't quite figured out what to do with it just yet, but you can best believe, once I get the hang of it I will be letting er'body know.

There were a couple of things that I made this weekend that made me feel I should change my name to "The VEGAN VIXEN"...what do you think???

I finally took the time to put the awesome blender that I got for Christmas to good use...I was a smoothie making fool lol!  I even had my niece sipping on an all natural fruit smoothie :)  She loved it of course...

I made veggie sausage patties which believe it or not, are delish!  I made a great breakfast, complete with fruit smoothie, a veggie sausage patty on top of a  pepper jack veggie slice (soy based cheese), on a toasted whole wheat bagel; with a little dijon mustard to top it off :).  I love good food, and I am not fooling when I say this was really good :)

I also learned the deliciousness of a baked sweet potato, and enjoyed that with a nice salad for lunch one day...

But the meal that I am most proud of is my Black Eyed Pea Patties :)  My lil' sis came over and helped me prepare this tasty treat...now before you go turning your nose up let me say...they were delish!  So delish in fact that my sister took some home and even my kiddo was gobbling them down...  I made the patties and put them on top of brussell sprouts that I sauteed with garlic onions and mushrooms....so very good....

I have been having so much fun finding new and inventive ways to enjoy my fast.  And with each morning and evening devotional, I feel like I am digging "further in" and "deeper down" into the word the Lord has for me.

Yesterday when I was doing my scripture reading my response was "ouch" and the only thing I could say was I hear you Lord, I hear you..... I rejoice  because I know that as I continue on this journey to "fit the pieces together"  HE is with me, guiding me, every step of the way...

Be Well
xoxo

Yum Yum Dim Sum and being nice counts...

 Honestly, it must be the lack of caffeine during this time of fasting, or maybe I am just slow on the upload these days...but I totally forgot that I am able to enjoy all of the delicious Asian cuisine that I love soooo much even while fasting! (I am sure all of my Waggies feel the same).

Last night, I went to my all time FAVORITE little Thai spot.  I have been going there for the entire 10 years that I have lived in my lovely little city.

It is family owned, and I always take the time to chat  with the owner. I told him I was fasting and let him know what I could and could not eat and he (bless his heart) prepared me two of my favorite dishes (Pad Thai and Pad Kee Mow),  all veggies, all natural!  And thanks to his kind gesture, I am able to enjoy my lunch guilt free:)

Call me what you want, but being nice really counts, and it was evident in the fact that this precious little old man took the time out to prepare my meals.  I am now looking for the opportunity to "pay it forward".

When you ask God to move in your life and you ask Him to get rid of the toxic people; and put good people in their place, HE does just that, even in the most inconspicuous of ways.....

If you are ever in the area, be sure to go to Thai Pepper.....they take good care of you :)

Well, I am off to continue on this journey to fit the pieces together...but first, I am getting another bowl of Pad kee mow :)

Be Well
xoxo