"Strength in numbers"...The random ramblings of a chic like me...

1) I have little to no tolerance for individuals that continue to bitch and moan about their particular situation yet make no moves to change...granted I do understand that everyone may not be as self centered or impulsive as I am (see, when I say I Am Over it, please believe I am) and some changes do take time, but I mean come on!  Make a move already geesh!!!!

2) I may have a few sociopath tendencies( check the DSM on this one)...I sometimes call it "superpowers" some people may call it manipulation...at any rate, I am finding that by really paying very little attention to what someone is saying while zeroing in on their behavior, I can learn a lot about that individual and in turn, get clarity on things I may have had questions about, ore even get the results out of them that I desire...Fear not, I use my powers for good not evil...sometimes.

3) My daughter is ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS on a whole different level....Okay, now I know that she is mine but she has this look and demeanor about her that literally stops people in their tracks....even me.  Yesterday she was in a program and she marched in with the other children and she literally took my breath away, there she was, towering above children her same age with this flawless rich dark complexion, thick jet black hair and eyelashes that I could see from my seat in the back of the room...just beautiful!!!  I could go on and on about my Icy pop!

4) I am getting better dealing with myself and others...Do not get me wrong, people still get on my effen nerves at times, but somewhere within me, I am learning to leave it where it is at. Here is the thing, I have some individuals and situations that will always...always  be a source of angst for me because I have to deal with them ( I call those my triggers)  but as for the superficial stuff that has been renting space in my head and my life, I have been passing out eviction notices...I am "chunking up the deuces" to residual bullshit.

5) I really do love myself...at least more than I used to :)  This part of my journey is never ending.  That is another blog...

6) I am really enjoying life and what it is bringing me....Each day is a new adventure, and instead of being apprehensive, I am welcoming the unknown, because lets face it, the unknown is always the next second away...

7) I continue on my journey to fit the pieces together...even though I know the puzzle will never be complete.

Be Well
xoxo

Getting over the hump...

"We do not realize that those who genuinely wish us well want us to be happy and are prepared to accompany us on that journey"
-Paulo Coehlo

So here is the deal...

I have given a lot of lip service to some great ideas without any follow through....

I own that

I realized that I am one of those individuals that thrives on positive reinforcement...

I own that too

When my big ideas are not met with enthusiasm or i when they are immediately met with negativity, I buy into that mindset and become discouraged...

Yep, still owning...

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I was sharing some thoughts with a dear friend of mine today; and, after  patiently listening to my rant about relationships(romantic, platonic, familial) with individuals that really are not on "Team Dani" he offered this,

 "you must not be afraid to cut your losses"

As I navigate through, I am learning when you begin to "be about it", and put action to your words...

everyone is not going to be excited to see you actually doing what you have been talking about for so long....

Why?

Because they do not truly understand you

or support you....

in some cases they may not even like you (if you really want to know the truth).

I have entertained the superficial and given too much attention to things that do not add any value to my quality of life;

I have allowed myself to get caught up in the daily minutia and have made several detours on my journey....

Today I learned that those road blocks that force me to make detours must be moved  out of the way,

so that I may continue on my journey to fit the pieces together...

Be Well
xoxo

No Carbs...really???

 The guilt has gripped me all day and I must let this out....
One of my girls and I have decided to do Low to No Carbs for the next 30 days, she, I might add looks absolutely stunning!  I am convinced she is just doing it to support me, and I love her for that!

Yesterday was day 1.

It was not completely awful

I was able to find an iced 0 Carb decaffeinated coffee-like drink at Starbucks

I only snapped one persons head off (trust me, they deserved it)

I  became a bit irritable towards the middle of the day, I remedied that by purchasing a bag of salt and vinegar pork rhines (0 Carbs) and drininking a Pespi 0 (0 Carbs). 

That held me over for a while until I was able to get home to eat...

a salad

I did go to my first Zumba class...who knew I was missing out on such an exhilarating workout?

Back home feeling good feeling great... Knee deep in my mommy routine...getting the kiddo ready for bed.

The daily dust starts to settle as I sit to watch one of my many crime drama's that I am obsessed with, when I hear something calling me...

"pssst...Danielle"...

So I go get some blueberries out of the fridge,

"awww c'mon Dani, you don't want those damn berries, you want me, and you know it"...

I try to read my book,

"I'm over here, on top of the piano"....

Yes, I cheated big time...

Little Debbie Swiss Rolls....sigh....so good, so chocolate, so sweet, so wrong...

SO WHAT!

It was the first friggin day....

Although it was the first day, my goal is to try with every fiber of my being not to let that happen again (I think there is only one left in the box and I will let Isis have it after dinner tonight).

By putting it in writing I am now accountable, I am working on the outer me, I have a plan in place and I am moving in the right direction....

I also have a plan in place for the inner me, but that is another blog.

Meanwhile, I know that whether outer or inner, I am always working, learning, and navigating my way through my journey to fit the pieces together....

Be Well
xoxo

Slowly but surely I am starting to figure this thing out...

I found another piece and things are starting to make a little more sense to me....

This weekend I was blessed and fortunate enough to participate in a reunion that consisted of classmates from high school, and honestly as I write my eyes are filling with tears...

Many may say "Okay, so you went to your high school reunion, big deal".  Well I say this, it is a big deal, a very, very big deal because you see, the people that I spent time with were not your run of the mill classmates...

These individuals were WAGNER HIGH SCHOOL FALCONS...

 I attended high school in a very special place...Clark Air Base, Angeles City, Philippines, and although I may have completed my senior year at Fort Walton Beach High School; I have never and probably will never have the bond that I have with the people I went to school with at Wagner.

When I joined the social networking community in June of last year, I was amazed at the number of "Waggies" that I was able to reconnect with; that alone brought me a sense of comfort and I felt one of my missing pieces slowly sliding into place...

Instantly phone numbers were exchanged by many of us and I was able to hear familiar voices that I have not heard in over 20 years; through joyous and tearful conversations, I began to catch up with people that played a very important role in my life...

Here and now, only hours after I said goodbye to some of those same people, do I feel that another piece has been put in its place...

I shared a conversation with a very dear friend of mine over breakfast when I arrived Saturday, and I was somewhat surprised at the things he told me;
he really did not have a group of friends in college, he just went to class and went home,
me too.
he really doesnt have a big group of friends now and spends a lot of time doing his own thing,
me too.
he looks forward to being able to come to the reunions to see his true friends,
me too.
as an adult he tends to view his inter-personal relationships as expendable, and really doesn't stress if newer friendships end,
me...too....

I think that was an ah-ha moment for me....

Sitting on the plane, heading home after a wonderful time, looking out the window with my sunglasses on and tears running down my face,  a few things started to make sense to me...

I had such a sense of calm
I had been around people that I shared a strong bond with that years nor distance could break.

The best part is that we all were exactly who we were 20 years ago...

• The Fiercely Fabulous Classy Diva
• The Barefoot Bohemian with an Edge
• The Quiet Guardian always watching out and taking care
• The Happy Go Lucky Entertainer ,making everyone laugh to the point of tears
• The Smiling Dancer with the sweet spirit...just to name a few

"I love you" flowed freely and was sincere and all you had to be was who you are, the real you, the person that existed before life got in the way...

Moving forward I take comfort in knowing that there are those
weird and wonderful Waggies out there that love me and accept me for me. 

For the first time in a long time I can say that I have an amazing group of friends!

They support me and understand me and my journey to fit the pieces together.....

xoxo
Be well.