Sometimes you just have to stop and cry and say thank you!

So here is the story....

Yesterday, I had to go to a class to better myself, and further my professional development.

I got lost; as I normally do....really that is part of my charm, I can't find my way out of my own back yard half of the time; but I digress....

I was driving through a "less desirable" part of town,

then it hit me...

As I was driving my NEW SWEET RIDE, it hit me

GIRL, GOD HAS REALLY KEPT YOU AND SUSTAINED YOU by any and all means....

My Heavenly Father has really, really blessed me and shown me favor!!!

Here I am, a single mother of an incredible child that knows, loves and fears the Lord already at the tender age of 9.

I am driving a new car that I got.... on my own.

I am heading to a training to better myself in job that I have...I am gainfully employeed...

I pay my own bills(albeit sometimes late, but hey.....)

I live in a nice, safe, neighborhood, complete with friendly neighbors and children playing; and I live there, not on the governments dime, but on my own merit

Now, do not get me wrong, I have my many meltdowns, wondering if the "struggle" is ever going to get a bit easier for a sistah :)

BUT

as I was driving in my new car, lost, in a "seedy" part of town, I was overcome with emotion...

I was humbled.

I was so very grateful.

I had to stop

 and cry

and say THANK YOU

Because although my journey to "fit the peices together" can be trying at times, in the grand scheme of things, it's really not bad at all.

Be well (I am)
xoxo

Be careful what you fast for, you just might get it....

Sooooo......

It has been a good 2 weeks at least since my last posting and boy oh boy!!!

So much has taken place that when I sit back and really think about it, I can only attribute it to the specific things that I fasted and prayed for at the beginning of the year.

The main thing that I truly desired was clarity...in everything, on all levels...

I mean, let's think about this for a minute; I am on a journey to "fit the pieces together"...

How can I do that if I am not really clear on what is going on???

How can I restore myself, and rebuild what has been torn down, if I do not know the real deal???

Regardless of what it is.

Well, I will say this without revealing too much.  It was clarity that I prayed for and it was truly clarity that I received. 

So many times we "say" we want the truth, but I will tell you this, the truth really does hurt.
Especially if you have been holding on to what you thought was the truth, for over a decade....I was knocked off of my feet for about 4 days, but when I came out on the other side....Let's just say, that is when things started moving in fast forward;  and here is the lesson that I learned:

When you ask God to move in your life, and HE thinks you are ready (not you); and He begins to move, the only thing you need to do is sit back and enjoy the ride.

....and so it is with me.  I have realized that He is leading me on this journey to "Fit the Pieces Together"

xoxo
Be Well

Day 12 Feeling Good Feeling Great!

12 days in and I have this amazing feeling of well being. 

I love love love fasting! 

It is so awesome when you have a clarity and a feeling that everything really is going to be okay.  When the fast first began I did have a "mini-meltdown".  But hey, I was having "Baby-Daddy" issues...that is par for the course. 

And with me being struck down for 5 friggin days with the crud that is floating around...Well I guess it is safe to say my 2011 Fasting period started off a little shaky (to say the least).  But through it all I have remained obedient and I have pushed past the feelings that I just gotta have a piece of fried chicken or I will die.  I mean seriously, the devil even almost had me convinced one day that I needed a hot dog!  a hot dog?????


At any rate, I am so proud to say that this week has been an epic success!!!

I have been spending my quiet morning time with God and I am doing my morning reading, I then get up out of the bed, get dressed and head to the gym (5am folks) where my love/hate relationship with the elliptical continues... And the best part of the whole thing is that I have awakened the "Glamour Girl" in me that has been hibernating for the past 2 years! 


I have been showing up to work every morning in a full face of make up and I have even brought my "sexy back" into my wardrobe.


I have experimented with a lot of different products and a lot of different looks over the past 2 years but I am taking it all "Back to Basics"...That's right, I am going back to the things that worked best for me and had me feeling really good about myself.


Anywho, I have rambled on enough today, time for me to continue on my journey to "fit the pieces together"...


Be Well
xoxo

Made it through the fast...now what???

Well well well, I fasted for 28 days asking God for clarity, waiting to see what this period of fasting will bring and I can say these things:


I have a feeling of well being that surpasses any that I have had in a long time.
I have mellowed out and I feel a lot more focused on my focus. 
I feel present, I tend to really get into my own head and play things out the way that I wished they were as opposed to how they really are. I think this was a coping mechanism. Well, by facing things as they are (good, bad, or indifferent) I am able to come to a resolution, acknowledge and move on...


Having said that...


Remember last year, after my 40 day fast when I was laid off from my job? After all of the fasting and praying I did for those 40 days; I will admit, the wind was knocked out of my sail and I really did have a slight mini-meltdown. After which I remembered Hebrews13:5-6.  With that I was able to pull myself together and keep it movin....


Well, I am now convinced that after fasting God will hand you an unexpected blow as a test to see if you really are tuned in.  I feel like I am not only "tuned in" but I am in HD!

Well to that end...
I got socked in the stomach with my unexpected "after fast blow'"and I must admit, after a mini-meltdown, and a call to my very best friend on this earth (Shout out to BVV!!!) and a huge shoulder to cry on (Love you Dad!!!) I remembered Psalms 147:3, and while I was in my final savasana in yoga class i meditated on that scripture... With that I am able to pull myself together and....say it with me...

keep it movin :)

All in all my fasting time was awesome and I am really excited to see what is waiting ahead for me in 2011.  So far so good.... I can do this....I will not give up......I can and I will continue on my journey to "fit the pieces together"...


Oh and one more thing.....from now on you may refer to me as "Auntie Danielle"( I love you my beautiful niece!!!!)

Be Well
XOXO

17 Days in....

I am feeling so good it is insane! 

 It is so funny when you come across individuals that just really don't get it....

During my time of fasting I will be the first to admit that I have made a few slip ups...(The chocolate cookies and potato chips that I enjoyed with my sister, brother in law and daughter, just the other evening while enjoying a movie...for instance).

But no fish nor foul has touched these lips(since the  chicken wing incident the first week of fasting). 

But I guess what really bugs me are those people that literally WANT to see me weaken during this time. Especially after I have gotten past the hump and the by products of the fast REALLY start to kick in;  For no other reason than to be able to say "see I knew she was full of crap" ( I would curse but I am working on that too, during this time).


I tend to get a bit irritated at people that say to me, "When we go out to eat I am going to get a big ole' slab of ribs, while you eat your salad"  In my head, I respond by saying "good for you boss!  and that is why I look  like this and feel like this... and you look"...well...you fill in the blank.

Perhaps if those same individuals took a moment to read Daniel 1:12-15 they may not be so quick to try to knock a sistah down, and be more inclined to join and encourage her(#im just sayin tweet)...


Here's the deal for any and all that may not understand.....Fasting ,for me, is so much more than denying myself  a daggone slab of ribs, it is about getting closer to God, period. 

I do that by waking at a crazy early time every morning to spend time in the Word and pray, before I head out to for my morning workout.  If, during this time, I look 'healthier and better nourished' that is what I call an added bonus! 

In addition to that, I truly cannot imagine beginning a New Year any other way....To sum it all up..if you cannot encourage me while I am fasting...well then please please please gimme 50 feet while I am on this journey to "fit the pieces together".


Be well
xoxo

Chicken Breath (to get a chuckle from litte sis)

Day 8

I am alive!!!

Yayyy I made it through whatever the hell it was that had me literally on lock down for 5 friggin days!!!! 

I have come out on the other side a few pounds lighter (yippeee) cause I have absolutely no taste and little to no appetite... hey every cloud has a silver lining.  Due to me having the flu, remaining obedient in the food portion of the fast was really not an issue...


I will say that I have been trying to figure out what it was that I was really seeking during this fasting period (outside of my closer relationship with the Lord). 


I think this is going to be my year for clarity, I really do.


Last year was all about relationships and forgiveness and closing chapters in order to open other chapters.  And I think that by forgiving and letting go, I may be positioning myself to be in some long standing relationships maybe romantic, maybe platonic, but all in Gods time.

I take heart, and do not give up; because I know that HE is indeed with me on my journey to "fit the pieces together" and as each piece falls into place HE will help me navigate my way through to the other side.


Be Well  (I finally am)
xoxo

Saturday morning and I still can't breathe

Day 6


UGH.... So I am sitting here drinking my Breathe Easy tea, in hopes that maybe, just maybe, it will do the trick.


I have been sick as a proverbial dawg since Tuesday night and I am still struggling to shake this thing, whatever it is. 

Because I am fasting I was very hesitant on trying to take any type of meds so for the first couple of days I went the homeopathic route...the Traditional Medicinal cold combo tea, the camphor on my chest, I even considered taking a Bikram yoga class in hopes of sweating the toxins out.....

After my rememdies did not produce the results I had hoped for I opted for the tried and true Alka Seltzer cold plus, my dad swears by it, and although I would never tell him, it actually does work.


All in all a pretty rough way to start the New Year, and the fast, but through it all I have remained obedient, save the bag of popcorn I did have last night. 

Really this time around it is not as hard as it was last year.  I will admit though, giving up my Social Media has proven to be a challenge but I have not wavered.  And I am finding that I am actually not really missing it as the time passes.


I am going to force myself to go work out, got to stay active. I did make myself get up and go to the gym on Thursday...epic fail, I could not even get in 5 minutes on the elliptical, I couldn't breathe.  But I did see my favorite couple there......This elderly couple that come in and work out together, they are so cute and the only thing that I can think when I see them is Genesis 2:18, and that means that sooner than later, and in Gods time, my "workout partner" will come....


Until that time I will continue this journey on my own to fit the pieces together..

Be well (cough cough sneeze sneeze)
xoxo

Ugh....

Day  one went well, despite the massive drama Isis and I had trying to blow up my stupid exercise ball,  all because Sampson, my beloved chi weenie hid the piece that went to the pump, (he is so friggin funny) I think he knew exactly what he was doing; and after Isis practically passed out trying to blow the ball up like a balloon, she finds the piece in his doggy pen...from now on he will be the regular victim of illegal search and seizures, since he is a clepto...


Any who I got my workout on to my new/used work out DVD (half price books rocks so hard), ate a fast friendly meal of cabbage and tomatoes in sauteed in olive oil...Erthang was all good...then it started, the night time cravings, so I did engage in some Sour cream and onion potato chips (prayed about it..I'm good),


But today I feel like crap


I did get up to do my 5am workout with no problem, but I do have an itch in my throat and right now my energy is non existent. I continue to repeat one of my affirmations "I have the energy I need to complete all of my tasks", that helps...


I will do my Budokon workout tonight but the goal is definitely to be in bed NLT 10.

yeah yeah yeah...journey to "fit the pieces together" and all that crap

blah blah blah
xoxo

Im BAAAACCCKKKKKK!!!!!

20-Leven has slipped up on a sistah and found me in a really good place!  I attribute that to the way that I began my journey through 2010...by fasting and praying.

And so, as I write I am here, with my Caffeine free tea at my side and my soothing music playing from Pandora (Whitney is singing "Saving all my love") ready to blog my 28 day fasting experience..(deep breath in)

But first I must rant (just a bit)...


Okay, so in addition to the food portion of my fasting experience I also like to fast from other things; now as we all know there is a certain "Book" that most of us are very tied to...Well yesterday during Church service at Concord (which by the way is DA BOMB!!!) Pastor Carter said, and I quote "maybe some of us should spend less time on Facebook and more time in HIS book....

Now, if you ever think that God does not speak I have proof.  I had been trying to figure out what else I needed to fast from and I received the answer while I was in the balcony at Concord Baptist Church.


So, me being the person that I am, I decide to alert my Facebook "friends" that I will be saying adios to facebook for 28 days,  I do however let them know that I will be blogging as I fast (just like I did last year)..
OMG!  You would have thought I said that I was Osama Bin Laden!  But the one comment that just really kept getting on my nerves was "isnt blogging the same thing as facebook?"  Uh...no!  (or maybe I am wrong...hm...Is blogging the same thing as Facebook?" ) At any rate, I will not be logging in to facebook or "the twitters" during this 28 day period.  It is amazing too, how many times I have picked up my phone with the intention of checking...sigh...down with cyber socializing lol!!!


.........anyway I am really expecting big things for me as I come out on the other side of this.  I have even written my affirmations, and meditations out to assist with my process,  the purpose is to really transform my thought processes positively.(more on that later), but I will tell you that, in addition to committing to my fasting and committing to getting up at 4:45 am Monday - Friday to work out, I am also committed to maintain my blog, I will also update the look and feel...This I vow!!!

so...here we go:

Day 1


Woke up on my own at 4:44am, literally one minute before my alarm went off, so I sat there and looked at my phone and waited until 4:45am to get up, I needed that minute.  I went to work out and saw the cutest thing ever, an elderly couple working out together. 

The only thing that I could think is I want someone to grow old with. 

That's right folks I am putting it out there and making it real. 

I could envision Memaw and Papa going to bed at 7:00pm the night before and waking up at 4:00am getting dressed to go work out and I felt a tug at my little heart strings, which is a good thing because it means I have one lol!


Anywho, when I got home I made my special morning drink and began my day, for breakfast, mixed fresh fruit and almonds, for lunch, a homemade mega salad. Tonight I WILL work out and my goal is to go without the television... and of course, I will continue on my journey to "fit the pieces together"...stay tuned...

Be Well
xoxo